


Time

by jareds1711



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Gen, Mentions of Tony Stark, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Doctor Strange (2016), Post-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, set during the events of Avengers: Endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 06:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19203514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jareds1711/pseuds/jareds1711
Summary: In this prologue to my new story "Time" (an upcoming six chapter story that will cover Steve Rogers traveling through time as he returns the Infinity Stones), Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have a long talk about the future, and Steve's plans to travel and stay in the past. Like many, I was disappointed by the lack of interaction Steve and Bucky had in Endgame, but the directors confirmed that they did in fact talk about Steve's plan before he left. This what I imagine that conversation looking like. I wanted to create a canon-compliant piece as possible, like a scene that really could be in an MCU movie; I watched several scenes with Steve and Bucky, wanting to nail down their characters and their relationship!





	Time

The clock above the bottle rack said 11:54. The bar would close in about another hour.

Only a few patrons were left at this late hour – a 20-something couple sat in the corner, a few friends were pressed against each other in a booth. There were a few low laughs and some mutterings of a deep conversation, but nothing really out of the ordinary on a Thursday night. Everyone there was pretty much keeping to themselves; no one really seemed to take notice of the man sitting by himself at the bar. 

That was fine with Steve. He didn’t really want to be noticed. 

The bartender, a guy named Jason, had given him a small nod when he walked in, and that was about it. Jason knew who Steve was. This bar was only about twenty minutes from the Avengers facility, and before the Accords, Steve had been in here a few times. Jason was a pretty relaxed guy, and he always used to make good conversation. 

But Jason understood that tonight was different. He and Steve shared one look, and Jason had wordlessly gotten him a drink. About ten minutes later, another tribute for Tony Stark came up on the flat screen TV behind the bar. Jason switched it over to some sports channel with the remote, and Steve nodded a silent thanks before downing another gulp of his scotch. 

The bill was going to be pretty high tonight.

Steve looked back up at the clock. 11:58. 

Steve looked back down at his drink. The music that played over the loud speakers of the bar slowly seemed to trickle in to his ears. An older song from one of those 70s bands (Steve didn’t really know which one), was playing. 

_Vixen in my dreams, with great surprise to me. Never thought I’d see your face – the way it used to be._

Steve let out a heavy sigh. He couldn’t get the sight of her out of his head. She was just standing there, so close, just on the other side of that glass window… 

He thought he had finally started to come to terms with Peggy being gone. 

Steve was so engrossed in the dark gold droplets at the bottom of his glass that he didn’t see someone else walk in to the bar. 

“Sam told me you might be here,” a voice said. Steve’s head turned, jumping slightly on his stool. Bucky stood just a few feet away, hands hidden in the pockets of his biker jacket. Steve tried to manage a smile back, but even he could tell it was a pitiful attempt. 

“Hey, Buck,” he said finally. Bucky pulled out the stool next to Steve. He shared a few quick words with Jason, and in less than a minute the bartender was back with two beers for the both of them. The blue and red neon lights of the bar cast colored glows on both men’s faces. Their bottles glinted in the light as they drank in tandem.

“How are you settling in?” Steve asked. 

“Hotel’s pretty nice. Pepper’s offering to help everyone find a permanent place,” Bucky explained. Steve nodded. Most of the fighters in the battle had returned to their homes with Doctor Strange’s portals, but with the Upstate facility nothing more than a crater of rubble, there hadn’t been any place for the Avengers to stay. Happy had arranged a few hotel rooms throughout town for the people who had nowhere to go, and for all of the people invited to Tony’s funeral. 

Steve closed his eyes. Tony’s funeral. Steve was torn between an indescribable dread for the event and utter denial that it was even happening. He quickly took another gulp of the beer. The funeral was the day after tomorrow, one week after the battle. Pepper said she and Morgan had needed time. It was just going to be a small occasion, a few people invited that stood beside Tony… but it shouldn’t have even been happening in the first place, Steve thought bitterly. 

Bucky looked concerned, his eyes fixated on his friend. 

“I would ask you if you’re alright,” Bucky said, pulling Steve out of his thoughts. “But I think we know the answer to that.”

“Sorry,” Steve said quietly. “Just… got a lot to think about.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“I can imagine,” said Bucky. Another song came on the radio, filling the gaping silence between the men.

“When are you going to take the Stones back?” Bucky asked. His eyes caught Steve’s shoulders sag a little lower, and his fingers started fidgeting with the rim of his bottle. Bucky looked Steve over. Something was up.

“I’m waiting until after the funeral,” Steve said heavily. Bucky frowned. He knew that face. 

“It must have been strange, going back,” Bucky said, choosing his words carefully. His studious eyes remained fixed on Steve, who continued to look intently at his drink. “But at least you got to see Peggy. That’s something,” Bucky added. Steve’s throat caught. He turned his head briefly to Bucky and the corner of his lips twitched – his second failed attempt a smile tonight. 

“I liked her,” Bucky said. “Out of all of us, she was the only one with any sense. And I know she meant a lot to you.” Bucky smiled faintly. He didn’t have too many memories of Peggy, not anymore. But what from what he could gleam from his past, he knew that Peggy was one of a kind. Everyone noticed the beauty first; Bucky did, at least. But after serving with her for years in the war, talking with her about how ridiculous Steve could be… yeah, Bucky could see why Steve was totally enamored. She had the brains and the strength, and like Bucky, she was one of the few people to see Steve for who he was before Captain America. That was one of the things he appreciated the most about her.  
“It was good seeing her,” Steve said, voice a little hoarse. “But when I did… it all just came back. A lot of stuff I thought I had gotten over.”

Bucky nodded silently. He was starting to put the pieces together now. Vaguely, he remembered a conversation they had, one their long talks back when he lived in Wakanda. Bucky had asked Steve about retiring, if one day he thought he could settle down, find a wife, have kids. 

_I don’t even know if I could, Buck,_ Steve had said. _Ever since I came out of the ice… I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I could even have that life now._

Maybe he didn’t want that. Not in this time period, at least. But… but maybe seeing Peggy brought back some of those dashed hopes – some of those old, half-forgotten post-war dreams all the soldiers carried back then. Perhaps all of those memories, the ones that Bucky could only half-piece together of life back then, had all come crashing down at once on Steve. 

For the first time in a while, Bucky wondered, maybe Steve was torturing himself thinking about what might have been.

Or what could be.

“You want to go back, don’t you? You want to go back for her. Start over,” Bucky asked softly. It looked like the blood had drained entirely from Steve’s face. He let out a shaky exhale, and looked over at Bucky. His eyes were dark, hollowed with guilt. 

“I can’t,” Steve said quickly. “It’s stupid. I can’t just drop everything and go back.” 

Bucky sighed.

“Steve… you can.” 

Dead silence. Steve looked at Bucky, bewildered.

“Look at Tony,” Bucky explained. “He took a step back. He married Pepper, had a kid. And if he hadn’t stepped back when he did...”

“… he might have never gotten it,” Steve half-mumbled, finishing Bucky’s sentence. The man ran his fingers through his blonde hair, ruffling it gently. 

“I can’t just…” Steve’s voice trailed off. He couldn’t even try to find the words to say. Bucky looked at his friend, his gaze unwaveringly patient.

“I can’t just leave, Buck,” he said at last, after a few seconds. Bucky let out a heavy exhale. 

“You’ve spent how many years being Captain America? After World War II, killer robots, HYDRA, and what, three alien invasions…? I think you’ve earned the right to step back.” Steve let out a disbelieving huff of dry laughter. 

“I can’t just stop being Captain America,” Steve said, eyes flickering back to his quickly emptying bottle. 

“Yeah, you can,” Bucky repeated. Steve turned his attention to Bucky again. “You know you’re not Captain America, right? That was just the name they came up with. You’re still that punk from Brooklyn too stupid to not run away from a fight.” The ghost of a grin tugged at Steve’s lips, the first semblance of a real smile tonight. Bucky gave him a small smile. 

“You’re human, Steve,” Bucky added softly. “Everyone expects you to be more. Especially yourself. But you don’t have to fight forever. You can’t.” 

Steve’s eyebrow rose, his lips curling in to a faint smile. 

“Pretty good speech,” he muttered. 

“One of my better ones,” Bucky agreed, half smirking against his bottle before he took another sip. Another moment of silence hung in the air between them. The smiles faded.

“But I don’t want to leave you behind,” Steve said at last. 

Bucky didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at the rack behind the bar counter, turning over the full weight of what Steve’s choice would mean. His closest friend would be gone, out of his reach. Things wouldn’t be the same again. This would be probably one of the last days he’d ever get to see Steve. 

“I’ll miss you,” Bucky said heavily. “I won’t lie. But I want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happy, with her.” 

Steve looked down at the counter. 

“But you’ve been recovering, Buck. If I leave now…”

“…I can stand on my own two feet,” Bucky said. “For the first time in a long time, I’ve found… peace. Wakanda, and everyone there… they’ve helped me. I honestly think I can start figuring things out, moving on.”

Steve didn’t say anything, but he smiled sadly. Bucky could practically see the guilt still lurking behind his eyes. 

“You could come with me,” Steve said, almost hopeful. Bucky let out a slightly shaky breath.

“I… I can’t,” Bucky admitted. “I can’t go back. That’s not… I’m not James Barnes anymore. I’m not the same man. I don’t belong in that time anymore. But I’m finding out who I am. I’m starting over.”

“I know I should be, too. Starting over,” Steve said, voice thick.

“Not everyone can,” Bucky countered. He took a sip from his bottle. “And me… my memories were pretty much shredded. It’s entirely different for me and you, Steve. For you, it’s like you left your whole life behind a few years ago. Your friends, your love… You tell everyone otherwise all the time, but I see it gets to you.”

Steve fell silent. Bucky was right; Steve had never been good at keeping things from him. 

“Bucky, I owe it to you…” 

Bucky rolled his eyes and cut him off. 

“Friendships aren’t based on if we owe something to each other, Steve. And if anything, I owe you.”

Steve opened up his mouth to protest instantly, but Bucky beat him to the point.

“You got me out of HYDRA. Twice, technically. You’ve been with me while I’ve recovered, checking in on me, coming to Wakanda every chance you got. You faced down an entire army by yourself and jumped through time so that you could get me and everyone else back from the dead. Come on.”

“But you’ve been there for me much longer, Buck,” Steve said more forcefully. “You’ve been there for me since we were ten.” His jaw clenched. 

“’I’m with you ‘til the end of the line’, that’s what we always use to say, wasn’t it?” Steve asked, staring Bucky down. Bucky could hear the self-condemnation that laced his words. Bucky was still for a moment.

“It ain’t the end of the line, pal. You’re still the best guy I know. This doesn’t mean we’d stop being friends. You honestly think I’d judge you for wanting a new life?” Bucky asked. For a second, it looked as though Steve’s eyes had watered over slightly, but the glistening was gone as quick as it had come. Maybe it was just a trick of the lights above the bar.

“You have a chance to get back what you’ve lost. I’m honestly happy for you,” Bucky said. He swallowed, taking a moment before he spoke next. 

“I’ll miss you, bud. I really will. But I’m not gonna stop you from taking this shot, Steve.” 

Steve blinked rapidly and inhaled sharply. 

“I’ll miss you too,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Bucky smiled sadly. So, Steve was starting to make up his mind. That was good, at least. It was giving them both time to prepare… well, as much as they could prepare. 

“Are you going to tell anyone else?” Bucky asked. Steve drank the rest of his bottle. With a gentle knock against the wood of the counter, a new beer was placed in front of him by Jason. He grabbed the new one gratefully and knocked it back. At the far corner of the bar, the sound of laughter cut across the room.

“No,” Steve said finally. “It would just complicate things. And I don’t want to take anything away from Tony’s funeral. People should say their goodbyes to him, not me,” his voice trailed off. 

“And,” Steve added. “…I don’t think I’ll be missed much by everyone else.” Bucky opened his mouth in protest, but was cut off quickly by Steve, who continued.

“Captain America is still a wanted criminal. Nat and Tony are…” his voice caught in his throat. “Gone. And everyone else has their own lives. They’ve learned to move on. Sam might miss me, but honestly Buck, I think you’d be the only one who’d care… You’re the only one who’d understand, at least.”

Bucky stared at Steve. He wanted to tell Steve he was wrong, but he didn’t know for sure. Steve had said to him before that he always felt like he never belonged – not with the army, not with the Avengers. _They were Tony’s family,_ Steve said. With Peggy, maybe he could find that belonging he needed; in a nice, quiet life where Steve could finally retire, maybe he’d find peace. Find belonging in a family he could start. 

Steve needed to find a life for himself. One that wasn’t spent behind the shield.

“I understand, Steve. I do,” Bucky said. He clasped his hand on to Steve’s shoulder. They shared a look. If anyone could understand what the other had been through, it was them. Both of them had thought they’d lost each other, but in the end, they’d had more time together than anyone thought possible. Steve leaving wouldn’t change that. It would be hard for them both, an adjustment that neither couldn’t quite prepare for… but it wasn’t the end. Not really.

Bucky put his arm back down on the table. He hadn’t even realized that he finished his drink. Brushing a few strands of hair out of his eyes, he looked up at the clock above the bar. 12:20. 

“Come on,” Bucky said. Steve looked at Bucky with an eyebrow raised, confused. 

“Let’s head back to the hotel. I think you need to sleep.” Bucky pulled himself off of the bar stool. With his metal arm shining briefly in the light, he pulled out his wallet. He threw a 100 down on to the counter, more than enough to cover the bill and a decent tip. Steve clenched his jaw, but nodded. He looked up at Bucky.

“Thanks, Buck. For everything,” he said. Bucky gave him a small smile and gestured with his head towards the door. The hotel wasn’t far. They could walk back together, at least. 

Steve pulled himself up and grabbed his brown jacket. They still had more to talk about, that was for sure. But for now… they had said what needed to be said. Bucky was one of those rare friends, the ones who knew what the silences said just as much as the words.

Steve still wasn’t exactly sure he was ready to say goodbye. But he knew at least, if anything, that Bucky would be okay without him. It would be rough, for them both, but Bucky would be okay.

That was all Steve could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> After a lot of planning, I’m slowly starting to write this project I’ve been very passionate about: Steve Rogers traveling through time on a mission to return the Infinity Stones. This part of Avengers: Endgame was fascinating to me, and as you could imagine, there’s so much story to tell. Each chapter will consist of Steve returning one of the Stones. Some chapters will be longer than others, and they might not all be uploaded for a while, but I hope you guys will enjoy this! I really hope that this part is something you all enjoyed, and it's something I really felt needed to be a part of this fic (and part of the movie, to be honest). Keep an eye out for the remaining chapter of this story! 
> 
> Also, please, comments are always, always appreciated!!


End file.
